29 Jan Starting Over
A beautiful story to courage by Lorna Dancey about a Canadian man whom she met through Jodi, who offers family support from Fort Saskatchewan Families First
He also joined a men’s group that supported men who are impacted by domestic violence. There he didn’t feel so alone. Through the kindness of strangers, he said to me when we talked, is how he started to feel like he was important again, and if they cared about him, he was going to care too.
This is his story…
He made a promise to her in front of all their family, friends and God, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, but little did he know that beautiful bride with a smile that could stop him dead in his tracks and fill his heart with love, would for the next 25 years, make his life a living hell.
The abuse started slowly with little bits of criticism here and there. She had a way of belittling him in a passive aggressive way, then tell him, she loved him. He learned to shrug it off but as the days and months and years went by, things progressively got worse and he found her to be more irritated, angry, and eventually full of rage that led her to violence towards him.
He was never asked or allowed an opinion and he was controlled and dominated with no regard for his feelings or beliefs. She constantly put him down by bringing up what she told him were his endless failings. She made him feel like he was nothing, like he never mattered and he believed her. By giving his heart to her that day, he had given her the power to love or destroy him and she chose to destroy him.
The woman he loved had turned into a monster and he had nowhere to turn except inwards and the stress of living with her was slowly killing him. At his lowest point, he weighed 88 pounds and was hospitalized. He felt shame and embarrassed and suffered in silence until he couldn’t anymore and then he told someone. After the Dr. heard what had been going on, he sat him down and said, “you don’t have the kind of time to endure any more pain and suffering, you need to get out”.
With the help of organizations, Fort Saskatchewan Families first, Heartland Primary Care Network, Sage and Seniors Safe Housing he was able to get the help he needed to set his plan in motion.
With the little bits of kindness he received from strangers that was enough for him to realize he mattered, if not to her, to him and after 25 years of terror and at the age of 61 years of age, he left.
The courage to take that step was
Fort Saskatchewan Families First Society Heartland Primary CareSage Seniors Association
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