Thriving Through the “C” Word

The first time I was diagnosed with cancer I learned a lot about life, but the main thing I learned was that our personal relationships are our most valuable possessions on life, and material objects have no real value at all. During my treatment, I could not think of any object that would make me feel any better. All I wanted was the company of my then fiance, and my family and friends. My fiance, Joey, slept at the hospital with me just about every night. From time to time, my mom would stay with me instead, so that Joey could go home and sleep a real bed.

The second time I was diagnosed with cancer I realized that statistics do not mean anything. Anything can happen to anyone, and that must mean that any good thing can happen too. Therefore, I decided to try my best to make sure the rest of my life is time well spent, meaningful, and so positive that the positive will outweigh the negative past. I work in the healthcare field, and I make sure my patients are taken care of. I am definitely a patient advocate. The third time I was given the dreadful news of the “C” word, I actually got a little scared. I had not feared for my life before that moment. How many times can this happen to a person? How many body parts can be removed or replaced? At that point, instead of thinking of myself, I thought of my fiance who I was going to be marrying in just a few months. I thought about how amazing he is and how amazing he had been for all the years we had been together. And in that moment, recalling his desire for a son, I hoped that I would be able to give that to him. I felt remorse for him not having a son already. I felt guilt for not wanting any children before now. And since I had just had one of my ovaries taken out due to endometriosis, I also felt the fear and inadequacy of possibly not being able to get pregnant. Joey and I have been together for a total of ten and a half years. We have now been married for almost two years. Earlier this year, we officially started to try to have a baby. In hopes to be an inspiration to others, I plan to write a book about my “C” Word journey, and I am a volunteer for the National Women’s Survivors Convention!