Watching Over Him

He woke from his nightmare and his little heart was pounding out of his chest for the 4th night in a row. For a split second, he forgot she was gone and he cried out for her. “Mamma, please, come, I had another nightmare”, but his cries only met with a heavy silence as he realized once again, that monster took his moms life away. 

Every night was the same and he was terrified to go to sleep. Her murderer was coming after them, he just knew it. He went over his plan once more. He thought to himself if that monster came to their house, he knew he would fight back trying to get justice and if he wasn’t strong enough, he knew he would die trying to protect his dad and pets. Wiping his tears away, he clutched his blanket that still smelled a little bit like her. He looked out his window at the moon and he wondered if she was really in heaven like they all said and if she was, he hoped she was watching over him and keeping him safe. 

He clearly remembers the day he found out. A police officer came to the door which wasn’t all that out of the ordinary because his dad was a police officer as well. He was watching cartoons and thought he heard the officer whisper ‘”Ann’s been murdered”. He was confused because he knew his moms name was Ann and he knew murdered meant dead but he didn’t understand what those two words meant together. All he kept thinking was, “I hope this isn’t real, I hope this isn’t real” but it was. 

His mom was in an abusive relationship with a man she tried so many times to get away from. She was terrified of him and she lived in constant fear. She went to the police for help but the laws were different back then and that man stalked her and terrorized her, and one day he shot and killed her. 

30 some years have passed since then and now as a RCMP officer, he protects all families. He has made it his mission to share his story whenever he can and to prevent injustice from happening to anyone else. He uses his experience to fuel his passion for policing and his desire to help survivors of crime. 

But to be honest with you, he was angry for a long time. So much loss, so much hurt, so much pain. He needed his mom, he was a 7-year-old boy and that man took her and every single forever moment of what should have been in his life, away. He stole the life he should have had, his childhood and so many moments he needed her there for. 

Sadly he doesn’t really remember her anymore and his nightmares are finally put to rest but his heart aches for his own children and the loss of a grandmother they could have had. 

As he tucks his 7-year-old daughter into bed for the night, he looks at her sweet face and he notices her looking out at the moon shining high in the sky. He stops and stares out, he remembers and hopes if she is still out there in heaven watching over him and his own family too, he hopes she is proud of the man he turned out to be. 

Fort Saskatchewan Families First Society 
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