Getting Up When I Just Want To Give Up

Dear Diary,

My life has been a shit show to say the least. I was homeless, my mother was drug addict, I didn’t know my father. I lost the only support system I ever had when I was 15 and I dated someone who was abusive as all hell. I know that I am not alone in living this kind of life. I have come a long way since 15, yesterday was my birthday and it had me thinking. There have been somedays that I did not want to get out of bed. Somedays that the depression was so heavy I couldn’t breathe. The pain was so strong that I was walking across campus just hoping I’d get hit by a speeding car. At least the pain would be over and I could just be done. Done with paying for school, done with trying to keep up in class, done with this drowning feeling that was overriding my mind. But everyday I got up. I got up and I went on. And some days it is still like that. I am married now and I am in my Master’s degree. I just wanted to share in case anyone else has been in something similar and is struggling. I would love to say that this shit gets easier but it really doesn’t. Somedays I do feel just as depressed. But I can say it does get better. Happiness is something that will come more often. Just don’t give up. Get up and face the day even if you only facing it half awake.