College Life In A Pandemic After Age 35

Dear Diary,

I started school back in January for the first time in almost 11 years. I am 37 years old and a non traditional student. I had already received my A.A.S. from another college and I was anticipating the college experience to be somewhat the same. Boy was I wrong. It is so much different and difficult to go back when you are older. Also, being a single mom with teenage boys is a challenge alone. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful I am back in college and have waited a long time to do so. But like many I did not expect a Pandemic to hit and have to become a “guinea pig” for this new way of college life experience. I am a very hands on visual learner. Having to go remote strictly was a challenge in itself for me. I like to be in the classroom, I learn better that way. When you take online classed by choice you know that you have to be structured, and more disciplined. This is a task for me not only keeping up, but if the interface does not work properly, or you can not communicate with your professor effectively it leaves a margin for huge misunderstanding and error. I feel lost sometimes. I get frustrated and I think to myself this is suppose to be a good thing I have waited so long to finish, why is it so hard. I know we have no control over the pandemic and I try to tell myself one day at a time. I still get down, and have anxiety and even get depressed because I feel I could be doing way better academically on campus rather than on remote and virtual learning. I was so happy to be able to return to campus this Fall, but it is still limited. I also find it difficult in classes that use outside programs i.e. Pearson for math. The teacher does not control the interface and it is hard to explain issues at times that you are having. Also a big obstacle I have encountered is the limited access to my Professors. We have zoom meeting options but that is limited because there is only one professor and many students. I also feel that the lack of being in the class room has taken away the ability to truly learn. What I mean by that is if I am working on an assignment or test and I have questions I do not have the immediate access to my professor for help or as I would if I was on campus. I know we are all doing our best and I commend my college on all they have done to adjust to this precedent time. I still get overwhelmed. I try to not let it get to me but I am human after all. I will try and keep positive and keep pushing forward. No matter the frustration I will do this. So to whoever is out there you are not alone we are in this together!!!! We will Prevail, if we do not go insane first!!!!