Dealing With Anxiety

Dear Diary,

I am a senior at MTSU I’m majoring in computer information systems and analytics. I feel like there is such a huge weight on me to be one of the first people in my family to get a degree but also not to dissapoint myself. I often get very anxious all that I have on my plate and I know I shouldn’t but I just start stressing before I even get started. The crazy thing I motivate people on my Instagram and I release inspirational videos yet I’m the one that feels empty. I feel like as a man especially A black man there’s not many people I can voice this to. It just got bottled up inside me and I just suppress it rather then talk about it I know that is not healthy. I’m Actually suprised I’m talking about it right now. I moved back home because of the pandemic which is in Memphis and I feel a huge feeling in my heart. Because I love being here with my family but I know this is not where I want to be and it’s stressful when I think about pleasing my family but letting down myself and Vice verse pleasing myself and letting down my family. I can say a lot more but I will stop there thanks.