Depression and COVID-19

Dear Diary,

The prevalence of depression, stress, and anxiety among university students has become a severe issue and has increased in severity in recent years. I, too, feel that I’ve become another number in a statistic. I am a 4th-semester nursing student and a current nurse intern at the hospital. I can handle incredible amounts of stress. But I was not ready for this virus. I remember the first day our hospital went on lockdown. The pandemic didn’t feel real at this point because I had not experienced anything like it. I could tell things were getting serious; the nurses and physicians were filled with anxiety. As the weeks passed, things did not get better. More and more COVID patients entered the hospital. The emergency department was overwhelmed with people. No one knew what to do. People were dying. I knew that I would have to experience a pandemic at some point in my career. My entire reasoning behind becoming a healthcare worker was for the love of humankind. I will always sacrifice myself for the betterment of humanity. But this was overwhelming. A large number of deaths in the United States alone would keep me up at night. I would hear sad stories about patients in the hospital with COVID-19. This was a pain I had to bring home, and it always stayed with me. My roommate has been extremely careless during this time. He often laughs about the restrictions and deaths. It’s intolerable to deal with, but he doesn’t listen to reason. My home use to be my safe space, and now it feels like a battleground. I don’t understand how someone can be so naive and careless. I’ve had depression for as long as I can remember. It’s genetic. The isolation has burdened me with reoccurring thoughts. I feel the need to make a difference, but it’s an endless tunnel with no light. It’s a healthcare worker’s nightmare not to be able to “fix” someone. I honestly feel useless. I want to have hope and I want to see this end.