Only Time Will Tell

Dear Diary,

 

I decided to quarantine with my family because I usually don’t get to see them as much during the school year. A typical day is busy and it involves me having classes, work, or even meetings sometimes. Because of this, I’m not usually around my family for more than the holidays or special occasions. I thought it would be a good idea for me to make up for lost times. I have an older brother that has been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, so I never know what to expect once I visit my family. It’s almost like flipping a coin. We’ve always had a close relationship, but everything changed once I came to college. He always wants to pick an argument or blames me for how his life is going. My brother and I are the complete opposite. I can honestly say that I’m a little more obedient to our parents, made better grades, and I am a little more mature even though I’m the youngest. While I’ve been at home, there have been really good days and there have been really bad days.

This particular bad day really hurt me. He picked an argument with me and said some hurtful things. In his eyes, “I’m our parent’s favorite”, “They treat him like he’s stupid every time I come into town”, and “I think I am better than him”. All of this was said, followed by a series of curse words that I’ll leave out of this story. It’s hard hearing all of these hurtful words from someone that’s supposed to love you the most. I graduate in a few weeks, and it hurts knowing that my own older brother isn’t supportive of me. I feel like he will just look at this as another way of me “feeling like I’m better than him”. I couldn’t take it anymore and I chose to leave our parent’s house the next day. I hate that I had to leave so soon, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m praying that things get better with time, and that one day we can be as close as we were before I came to college.