People NEED People

I have learned to accept people. People I know – who I thought would be by my side 100% of the way and then they disappeared – was it fear of the unknown or what they have known others to go through… was it too much work or energy to BE THERE. These relationship losses hurt and confused me. I also found people who were on the periphery of my life who came in to my pain fully engaged to help and be here. This is worth holding on to the good in others. I know that we all need people to be real with; a safe place to be, where there is no judgment or condemnation, because sometimes the places we take ourselves can be dangerous mentally and emotionally and the people who know what we know, have felt what we feel are often the best people to be around. There really is a sisterhood of survivor-ship. The best thing I can do it to be fully engaged in others in the specific manner they may be lacking from those often closer to them.

I have learned I am lucky beyond measure to be married to a man who truly understands and lives the words he said when we married 8½years ago. For Better or Worse, In Sickness and in Health because he has had to put his money where his mouth is and he came through it with flying colors…. I know others blessed like this but too often I have seen the opposite and it breaks my heart. I have learned a Godly spouse is one of God’s greatest gifts. I have learned that as a single mom when my son was between 3 and 13 – he felt the weight of the world and lost the chance at times to be a child but that he loves me more than anything. When I was diagnosed he said he as quitting high school to take care of me. I said he needed to finish high school for me and that I would be there… and I was. When he asked why me and said that it was not fair – I told him that if there were 2 women and 1 had to get cancer, I was happy it was me because I had him and Rich and the Lord so I would not be loved and held all the way and it would hurt me to know another may have had to do this alone. We cried together. His first tattoo at 16 was a pink ribbon on his arm wrapped around a cross with my name on it and the words My Mom… My Hero. Little does he know he is mine.   Survivor-ship is a JOURNEY… with little destinations along the way. Places to go to and some to leave. Places to rest my heart, mind, body and soul and some places to ignite my passion from. My Journey continues…”