06 Mar Starting Over
A beautiful story of courage by Lorna Dancey about a Canadian man whom she met through Jodi, an inspirational woman who offers family support through the Fort Saskatchewan Families First Society . He endured and suffered in silence for far too long and reached out for help. His situation was deeply saddening. He couldn’t even leave his bedroom, but Jodi provided counseling to him over the phone. From there, he began to make progress. Through the kindness of strangers, he said to me when we talked, he is now starting to feel important again.
This is his story…
He made a promise to her in front of all their family, friends and God that for better or for worse and for richer or for poorer. But, little did he know that beautiful bride with a smile that could stop him in his tracks and fill his heart with love, would for the next 25 years, make his life a living hell.
The abuse started slowly with little bits of criticism here and there. She had a way of belittling him in a passive-aggressive way. Then she would say she loved him.
He learned to shrug it off but as the days and months and years went by, things progressively got worse. He found her to be more irritated, angry, and eventually full of rage that led her to violence towards him.
He was never asked or allowed an opinion. He was controlled and dominated with no regard for his feelings or beliefs. She put him down constantly, bringing up what she told were his endless failings. She made him feel like he was nothing – like he never mattered, and he believed her. By giving his heart to her on that fateful day years ago he had given her the power to love or destroy him – and she chose to destroy him, The woman he loved had turned into a monster and he had nowhere to turn except inward. The stress of living with her was slowly killing him.
At his lowest point, he weighed 88 pounds and was hospitalized. He felt shame and embarrassed and suffered in silence until he couldn’t anymore.
Then he spoke.
After the physician heard what had been going on in his life, he sat him down. The doctor shared, “You don’t have the kind of time to endure any more pain and suffering. You need to get out.”
With the help of the organization’s Fort Saskatchewan Families first, Heartland Primary Care Network, Sage and Seniors Safe Housing, he was able to get the help he needed to set his plan in motion.
With the little bit of kindness he received from strangers, it was enough for him to realize he mattered, if not to her, to himself. After 25 years of terror and at the age of 61 years of age, he left.
The courage to take that step was life-changing. He works to rebuild himself from all the damage done and with a newfound sense of pride, he takes a deep breath and looks around at his new place and realizes, he has a new life and a new chance to start over…
Fort Saskatchewan Families First Society Heartland Primary CareSage Seniors Association
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